At this point in the Korean journey I'm not feeling it. It seems like so many of my friends are good to go here...but I'm not. I don't love Korea or it's culture. I do love my students and that's about all I can say. The sad thing is, I don't even really want to teach my students, I want to invest in their lives. I want to be able to communicate with them and pray with them. My heart longs to do ministry. I want to reach out and make an impact of the soul.
I don't know if I'm cut out to be a teacher or not. Every job I've had lacks for me...I want to be passionate about my job and I'm passionate about digging into kids' lives. Teaching is so limited in that arena. I don't think I'd mind being here as much if I were getting to do what I love!
On the up side of things, my heart is just bathing in the glory of the Lord. He is really entering my life daily in a very real way. It's precious! And steadily I'm beginning to believe that He really will grant me the desires of my heart. I haven't believed that in a long while...nor have I thought I really deserved them. I want a husband and children...I want a family of my own. It's a deep desire that's not going away. God has refined my desires into new determination to truly find a man who is outwardly and inwardly affectionate for the eternal! No more lowering standards or allowing loneliness to take the lead.
Alright, that's all for now. I like having a blog to share my heart and not having to worry about bringing anyone down. It's refreshing!
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