Recently a close friend of mine asked me if I thought I would get married. She wasn't being mean or negative, just wanted to know what I thought. At this point, I am content in my life...more content than I have been since college really. In Korea I have this crazy sense of God. I can't say I'm that much more faithful to Him here, I still struggle to arrange my life to make Him the top, but He sure sustains me. I haven't been longing for a guy here. I haven't dwelled on the past much either. But at my core, I know I want to be married. I long for companionship and a family. I don't want to be alone forever. I want to experience lasting love. Sure I probably could have found someone to marry by now but no one has been the right fit for me. At times I doubt that God really created someone for me, but again, at my core I have peace He did.
I know I'm an odd ball. I know I like things my way, and boy oh boy the longer I'm single the more I settle into those ways. I know I'm not a knock out. But I'm loyal and deep and passionate. Honestly the age 28 is haunting me, taunting me even. It seems old and it scares me. I always thought I'd have at least one kid by the time I was 30, but now I don't know that that will be the case. God's plans have never been my own. My life has been nothing of what I mapped it to be. I mean, I'm in South Korea teaching English to middle schoolers....never saw that one. But I do pray that God has plans to give me a family, to grant me my dreams.
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Ah... n I thot u had a round mind.. hhaha jokes apart.. but all u know tht ur Mr Right is just looking for u somewhere in Korea riding in his white horse wid a bunch of roses in his hand.. just a matter of time and tomorrow he'd be knockin at ur doorstep.. destiny you cee..
ReplyDeleteGirl, I thought I would be married at 22 and have kids definitely before I was 30. Sometimes, I wish that Eric and I met earlier in life but honestly, I don't think he wouldv'e been ready for me nor I for him. I did get married before 30 (a little less that 2 months to be specific!) but our life isn't ready for kids right now. As a matter of fact, I'm grateful. It has allowed Eric and I the opportunity to work on our relationship and our individual issues before we brought a child into the world and for that, I'm grateful. SO, be encouraged that God definitely has his own time and even though you are turning 28 this year don't let that stress you! I was 28 when I met Eric as a matter of fact! God can do exceedingly and abundantly. Being content is a wonderful PEACEFUL place to be.
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